I've been a little congested lately- not quite sick with a cold, but bothered by the cold outside and dry heat indoors. While I sleep, my mouth is therefore open and I wake up with a dry mouth and a sore throat.
This morning I woke up briefly and tried to moisten my mouth, and it was so dry it felt like my tongue was cracking. In a fog I pictured an actual crack in my tongue like a crack in a dry lip, and hoped my tongue wouldn't suffer an injury like this. I worried about how I might eat Goldfish crackers now with a sore cracked tongue. I suck the salt off then split the fish at the seams with my front teeth.
I made a quick trip to the bathroom, peed, and stuck my tongue out in the mirror. I saw where the muscle had dried up and caused the cracking sensation. I cupped some water in my hands, sucked it and swished it, and went back to bed.
While I was sleeping again I dreamed I was at the mirror, inspecting my tongue. The crack had become infected, turning my tongue black. I moved it around, in awe at how deep the black color was and wondered if my spit would be inky black as a result.
I'm pleased to let you know I do not in fact have an actual crack in my tongue, and it's not black either.
You want to make out with me now, don't you.