I was lying on the couch at 11 pm, my insides vibrating with anxiety and anticipation. The map on TV was equally blue and red but the electoral votes were tipped in Obama's favor- I wanted to celebrate but I was just afraid of a repeat of the complete and utter disappointment I felt four years ago when Bush was re-elected.
It's still too early, the newspeople were saying. It's too early to call.
Suddenly the TV screen flickered and I saw live footage from Chicago. It was the same live footage they'd been cutting to all night, but this time the vibrating I felt inside of me was all over that crowd and I knew something had happened.
Then I noticed this at the bottom corner of the screen:
And I just laid there thinking, "Already?" How can they know already? Are they sure?"
It took a few moments but I got it: it was real. And I was so, so relieved, and unbelievably happy.
I moved to the floor, eyes wide, hands over my nose and mouth. It was real. President Obama.
I cried. I cried and laughed and wiped my eyes and said, "Oh, thank God."
Liam, concerned over my tears and gasping breaths, came and sat in my lap. He rested his back against my belly and held my hands. He turned to look up at me and smiled reassuringly.
Once he realized mama was crying happy tears he got into the spirit and was pretty happy himself:
I can't even put into words my relief now. I am so glad enough of us were fed up with the direction this country was taking and are so ready for someone new, someone who will make a real difference. I believe he can. Barack Obama, I am so proud to have you as our new president.
In general, I have a lot of faith. I may not go to church but I find God in the sky, in trees, in the ocean, in love, and in goodness. I find him in nature.
Unfortunately my faith in people has been waning sadly as I get older and as I come across less love and goodness. Since becoming a mother, my heart has been waxing and I have just been hoping for more reason- outside of my home and my family- to begin believing again in people's ability to touch others' lives in a generous, warm, and open way.
Today my heart feels closer to full and I happily hold an "O" over it. O for Obama and everything he represents.
There's a lot of goodness coming, I can feel it. And I cannot wait until January.