I haven't been on birth control in over three years. There are reasons why, but they're kind of accidental reasons so they are boring and do not matter. But I decided to go on birth control again because I thought it'd be nice to have clear skin for the second time in my life, and also be able to know when I should be expecting my period. Because every 20-32 days is not regular enough for me and my period was trying to kill me with pain and excessive blood loss.
(And by excessive I mean, you don't want to know how much blood was coming out of me.)
So today marks the start of my third week on a regular ol' birth control pill. In my first two weeks I gained five pounds, an insatiable appetite, less sleep but more fatigue and my boobs.
That's right. My boobs, who both went missing when my breastfeeding days were over. They are back.
They're sore from so much growth in such a short period of time, but they are currently sitting perkily upon my chest, pressing warmly against the inside of my bra, happy to be home.
And I'm just going to say it- I like having breasts that feel familiar again, no matter how superficial and shallow that sounds. I missed my breasts and I did not like what they'd been replaced by. This is not about sex or my husband (who loves them no matter what, thankyouverymuch) or pressures from society and media about how I should look. My breasts are a part of me and I just wanted to feel like myself again. (If, say, my eyes changed color or something happened that altered the shape of my lips, I'd be sad about that too.) I can't exercise myself into bigger breasts and I don't like the idea of having implants- so this side effect from the birth control is a very welcome change.
In (somewhat) related news last week I was helping Liam pick up his toys, and he caught a glimpse down my shirt as I bent over. Upon seeing my cleavage briefly he asked me, "Mumma, why you have a butt in your shirt?"
HEAR THAT? I HAVE CLEAVAGE AGAIN!