True Maine

On Facebook, you know there's an endless number of quizzes... "How BADASS are you?", "What kind of mother are you?", "Which earth element are you?", "Which house best fits your personality" and other useless things to help pass the time (although I will say that the "Which BADASS thing are you?" was awesome and hilarious and made me LOL). Then of course there's the regional quizzes... "How Ohioan are you?", "How Texan are you?" and "How well do you know Idaho??!"

I took the "How Well Do You Know Maine?" quiz today, which informed me that "You're a True Mainer!" Before you think I'm a Maine history and trivia scholar I'll let you know that I learned everything the quiz asked by the time I was ten. What percentage of Maine is forested? Which county is "The County"? What's the state capital? Ninety per cent, Aroostook, and Augusta- DUH.

I told politely asked Gabe to take the quiz to see how Maine he is. It turns out he's a True Mainer too, but only with my assistance.

GABE: How many counties are in Maine? Twenty-five? [An expected question from a Texan, where they have like a bajillion little counties in their giant state.]
ME: WHAT! No! Come on!
GABE: Sixteen?
ME: YES!
GABE: Well how would I know that??
ME: It's in the SONG!
GABE: What song?
ME: The COUNTY song! [to the tune of Yankee Doodle] Sixteen counties in our state-
GABE: Oh God, shut up.
ME: Cumberland and Frankin, Piscataquis-
GABE: Shut up.
ME: and Somerset-
GABE: Shut up.
ME: Aroostook, Androscoggin. Sagahahoc-
GABE: Shut up.
ME: and Kennebec-
GABE: Shut up.
ME: Lincoln, Knox and Hancock.
GABE: Shut up.
ME: Waldo, Washington and York-
GABE: Shut up.
ME: Wait, I'm almost done! Oxford and Penobscot!
GABE: [a pause] Congratulations.
ME: Thank you. Man, that's a good song.

.