Eleven months

Dear Liam,

Today you are eleven months old, which I am having a hard time grasping. I feel like you have been in my life always, but eleven months is really a short time and you are growing up so fast. Every time I look at you, you look older. You look more like my little boy than my little baby, which is both exciting and sad.

It’s exciting because you are growing. You are healthy, you are learning new things every day, and I can tell how bright and strong you are. I can see what an amazing person you are becoming and I can’t wait to see the marvelous things you will do.

It is also sad though, because you will never be this little again. There will be a time when you will be too big for me to hold you like I hold you now, and when the fact that I am your mom will not be enough to comfort you.

In these eleven months, you have brought so much to me and your dad. You’ve tested and taught us patience. You’ve snuggled into us and made us feel safe and heroic. You’ve laughed at us when we weren’t even trying and made us feel like comedians, and you’ve looked at us in ways that we know we are so loved in return for what have been giving you.

The fact that you know love, that you feel it without even understanding it, that makes me feel successful as a parent. We have taught you love. It gives me hope for the future of this world. You give me hope, Liam. You give me hope for myself.

You have so much in your hands, in your heart, and in your mind. I am so thankful for these past eleven months with you and I can’t wait to watch you continue to grow- even if it means you’re not my little baby. You’re still my boy and I am still excited to wake up every morning and see you smiling at me, waiting for me to wake up.

I will keep waking up to you. Please continue to make my days feel mysterious and new and full. I will keep loving you. Always. Please continue to trust in that and know that I am always here- if not in sight, then in your heart. You are a part of me and I am a part of you. Nothing can change that. Not even growing up.

Happy eleven months, my Liam.

With infinite everything,
Mama